Burdock, Ragwort and Bindweed

Another of the things I want to do with this blog is a bit of Natural History.

Last year, for my birthday I asked for two specific books …. one about birds one about flowering plants. To a certain extent this was cathartic, because birds and plants,in particular, were the province of my late brother, whose shadow still and I guess always will hang over my life .

So I’m starting from the bottom with these books, noting down the common (swifts, swans, butterbur or bindweed) All get a tick in the book 🙂

So today, because my wonderful zero hours contact has “reactivated”, I’ve  been flower spotting again.

So?

So I identified Greater Binweed, Lesser Burdock (the most common variety!) and Common Ragwort. All very common. So what’s the big deal?

Nothing. Yes I’m proud of myself for making the positive identifications. Noting really to do with my late brother…. it’s one heck of a learning curve. Trouble is, like so many other people, I’m quite thin- skinned. So I tend to hide stuff like this, afraid of the ridicule or misunderstanding Which may be aimed at me, or rather have done into past.

That. might be wise, but it certainly isn’t courageous.

So.

Many people have advised me to start blogging, from ME to my councillors  to old Uni friends. I love writing but (as above) have always been afraid of the ridicule so find it painfully difficult to write in public .

So here’s trying again !

First Post

It’s always difficult to know what to put in a First Post on a blog.  No-one will read it, but it sets the tone and feeling of the blog in your heart.

Best I can do is tell you where I am. I’m in Aylesbury Bus Station, waiting for a bus to take me back to High Wycombe.

The first thought is Aylesbury Bus Station toilets.  Don’t.  Really, seriously.  Just don’t.  Of course I can only speak from personal (ie. Men’s) experience, but it really is foul.  It’s at times like this you realise why continental toilets have a dedicated cleaner whom you’re supposed to tip on the way out.  I’d happily pay £1 just to be able to pee in a place which wasn’t swimming in piss and smelt like an open sewer.

The second thought is “why am I in Aylesbury in the first place?”  Easy peasy … I’ve been to my Men’s Group session at the Whiteleaf Centre. For anyone who don’t know, the Whiteleaf CENTRE is a service provided by Buckinghamshire and Oxfordshire Mental Health Services.  Yes they have inpatients and no, I’m not one of them.

So I wend my merry way from High Wycombe to Aylesbury every Wednesday afternoon in order to participate in a psychodynamics group therapy. Yes, its working and no, I’m not going to say why.  Not in my first post anyway 🙂

As for anything else … well I’ve been trying to grasp the content and directions ofithis blog all day.  As a reflection of my life I have no qualms about its depth and breadth, aside from the fact that if I’m sharing that with The World, then I ought to share it with my children.

They know I’m mad, grumpy, strict and, er, eccentric. They know I shouldn’t drink, bit I’m not sure the word alcoholic has attached itself to me in their eyes.

The other word they’ve not heard is depression.  This is whole different kettle. At a time when we’re encouraging our children to be themselves and Shine , it may come as a shock that their Dad is a lost soul who (on good days) just Can’t Be Arsed.

I think that’s a good place to stop.  If I’m going to start posting thoughts and feelings at this level, then I need to be  honest with my children.

Not bad for a resolution from a First Post!